You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We are all done wearing pants today
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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