And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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