Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
