pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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