i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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