So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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