I didn't shave. On purpose
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
