What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
