Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
