i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
