The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
