why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
