would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
