Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
