Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
