I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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