Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
