There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
