So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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