In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
