The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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