I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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