he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
