I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
