Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
