i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
