Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
