You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize