Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
