Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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