we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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