If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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