I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
