brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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