Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
