how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
