i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
