He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
