Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
