I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
