I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
