They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
