did you get engaged???
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
