Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
