I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
