it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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