She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
