holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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