Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
