How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You pole danced in your parka.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
